September: A Time for a Fresh Start
“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.”
Does anyone else get that back-to-school feeling in September?
Even if you don’t have kids in school, as soon as the calendar turns, there’s an urge to buy new notebooks, colour-code your to-do lists, and make optimistic plans for early mornings and green smoothies.
There’s just something about this time of year that feels like a fresh start, a reset button after the blur of summer. The days get a little shorter, the air gets a little crisper, and there's a renewed sense of focus. It's the perfect time to get back into a routine, tackle new projects, and reconnect with your goals.
I used to be that event manager who would always say yes, especially when I could sense someone else on the team, or even a client, didn't want to handle a particular task. My thought process was, "If I take this on, it'll elevate their stress and keep things smooth." But what I learned, often the hard way, was that by constantly taking on those responsibilities, I was only setting myself up. Instead of reducing stress, it would make mine even higher, pushing me closer to the edge of burnout. It was a cycle that left me feeling overwhelmed and resentful, all while trying to protect others. As Gabor Mate said "If you don't learn how to say no, the Body will say no for you".
I used to believe that by saying "yes" made me kind, reliable, a good team player, and selfless. But I learned a tough lesson: consistently ignoring your own needs isn't kindness, it's neglect. Eventually, it leads to burnout and resentment.
While working in London, I had a colleague I admired. They had a remarkable ability to say "no" something I struggled with. And you know what happened when they set that boundary? Nothing negative. In fact, it often led to clearer expectations and better results. It was a powerful lesson in how setting limits can actually improve efficiency and respect, not damage it.
Ready to Set Your First Boundary?
Think about one area of your life where you feel overextended maybe it's work, family, or a particular friendship. Now, try this simple approach:
"I value our relationship, and I've realised I need (space/rest/time/clarity) to show up fully. Here's what that looks like for me..."
This phrase acknowledges the other person while clearly stating your need. Consider these examples:
"I need to log off by 6 PM to protect my evenings with family."
"I'm happy to help, but I can't be available on such short notice anymore."
"I'm not in a place to offer advice right now, but I'm here to listen."
Start Small, Practice Often
Setting boundaries takes practice, but every time you establish one, you're honouring yourself. It’s an act of self-kindness that allows you to show up as a better, more present version of yourself for both others and yourself.
