Finding Your Own Christmas
As we approach the Christmas season, it can bring joy, but it can also carry stress and challenges. This can be a beautiful moment to slow the pace and take comfort where we can.
The Danish notion of 'hygge' reminds us that contentment often comes from life's simplest pleasures: warm spaces, soft light, nourishing food, and the company of people who help us feel at ease.
This season invites reflection as much as rest. It offers a chance to notice what is good, steady, and supportive in our lives. There's celebration, anticipation, and light all around, yet underneath, there can also be fatigue, a quiet longing for connection, or the weight of expectations we didn't ask for. For some, this season brings togetherness; for others, it highlights what feels missing.
There's plenty about December I enjoy. I love the food and catching up with family and friends. Amidst the consumerism, I try to hold onto hope, joy, peace and love.
The Myth of the 'Right' Christmas
My belief is simple: there is no right or wrong Christmas. It's a time when we should all be permitted to do whatever we genuinely enjoy, free from expectation. Apparently, 84% of Brits admit to finding the Christmas period stressful, according to Mental Health UK which honestly tracks. The tension we create around the 'perfect' day often overshadows the actual joy.
This is why I always enjoyed working in hospitality at Christmas. I liked seeing other people enjoying Christmas Day, being part of the background, witnessing genuine moments of celebration rather than feeling trapped by my own schedule. Many people struggle at this time of year, and it's completely normal to feel conflicted wanting connection but needing space at the same time.
Finding Festive Freedom
My best Christmas, one that perfectly captured the genuine warmth of the season was my French Christmas. It had all the parts I truly enjoy: beautiful decorations and delicious food, but without the tension. There was a simplicity and focus on connection that made the entire experience light and memorable.
A Tradition of True Giving: Jólabókaflóð
For me, the season is best spent in quiet, meaningful pursuits. I've always been an avid reader, so as an adult, I was delighted to discover the wonderful Icelandic tradition of Jólabókaflóð the 'Christmas Book Flood.' This tradition involves exchanging books on Christmas Eve and spending the rest of the night reading. For me, exchanging books and settling into reading is pure joy. It embodies the act of giving something personal and then sinking into a peaceful, non-commercial activity. It's a complete rejection of the pressure to be 'on' all day.
If Christmas is meant to be a time of giving, let's start by giving ourselves permission to enjoy it on our own terms.
When Family Gatherings Feel Hard
You're not the only person feeling this way. Christmas can bring out the best and the hardest parts of family life. Here's what helps: remember that you can't control what others say or do, but you can control how long you stay, who you sit next to, and when you take breaks. I've learned to plan small exit strategies for when things get tense stepping outside, playing with a pet, texting a supportive friend. These tiny moments of breathing room can make all the difference.
And if your biological family isn't a source of comfort, it's okay to build a chosen family of people who see and support you. Your holiday traditions can evolve as you do. The holidays don't have to be perfect to be meaningful.
Protect your energy, nurture what feels good, and remember: you deserve love, peace and joy.
